A couple of days ago, Pam, of Of beads and other things, gave me an award and I've been trying to figure out how to respond ever since.
It's not that I'm not grateful for the award and I'm certainly grateful for every day I wake up and draw a breath, but these last few months have been more challenging than I've wanted to share here (not that you aren't all very supportive because I've had nothing but kindness and warmth from your comments) mainly because this blog is where I come when I'm feeling good enough to write or to post photos of the few small things I've been able to do and I did not want it to be where I talked about my metastatic cancer...BUT, the fact of the matter is that I'm in a daily battle with depression and what that means in my case is that getting anything creative done is like trying to run while standing in mud up to your armpits...it's a struggle.
So getting awards or passing on memes or writing about gratitude...or just writing at all is sometimes almost impossible and usually a fight I lose...and while I really want to honor the intention of the folks who pass these things on to me, I just cannot really participate in the spirit I'd like to...
I hope it's okay to say, thanks, but no thanks? I think anyone who has or has had depression will understand...I hope everyone else does too because this blog is my link to normality and I would miss you all so much if I offended you.